Let's chalk this one up to culture because I have no other explanation.

My mom called a short while ago. Here's how the conversation went down--or should I say downhill?

Mom: "You're home on a Friday night?"
Me: "Yes."

Mom: "Hehehe!"

Thanks, Ma. I'm adding that to the list of Shit My Mom Says.

Come to think of it, this list really should be expanded to include the following gem, posted on my mom's Facebook page by one of her relatives.

At least she said please and thank you.

Oh! Let's not forget the time another one of my mom's relatives told her that she saw a picture of me on Facebook wearing "see-through night clothes." 1. I'm an adult. 2. It was a bikini. 3. I was at the beach.

That is one reason why I reject about half of my relatives' friend requests on Facebook. The other reason is that despite your familiar last name, I've never heard your first name before in my life. In other words: who are you, how are we related, why haven't I heard of you before, and why have you heard of me?